Hey there! I did something momentous for myself and want to share my win and insight on my journey. I believe being transparent can encourage other people’s lives. See this picture here? It’s me. This year I graduated with my Bachelor of Applied Arts and Sciences with a concentration in Criminal Justice Diversity and Inclusion.
Here are my credentials: I am a 43-year-old first-generation Latina who did not take the traditional path to high school graduation. When I transferred to Sam Houston State University, I made straight A’s in all my classes, well except for one course, I got an eighty-nine. I need you to know this right now, regarding Life… “You are never late; rather, you are just in time for life to unfold the way it will for you,” Trust the process.
I often thought I was too old to return to school, and I self-sabotaged myself with thoughts of doubt. At one time, I thought I lacked the intelligence to finish school, especially because I was having difficulty passing college math. I took many remedial courses, and believe it or not, I quit college many times because math was an obstacle for me.
You see, I finished high school in 1997 and was allowed to walk the stage even though I did not graduate. In Texas, state tests are required to graduate. I failed the math portion so many times that in 1997 I did not Graduate. It wasn’t until 2002 that I went to get my GED.
My parents were both immigrants, and my stepdad, although born in the United States, did not have a college degree, and to be honest, there was no one in my immediate family with a college degree. But that doesn’t take away the work ethic my parents passed down to us children. Most first-generation families are encouraged and supported to make college the next step for more opportunities. In our home, going to college was not spoken of often, as I can recall. Looking back at it now, my parents did their best to survive, thrive and support the family finances at the time. So you see where I am going with this, it was a challenge from the beginning, but somehow I pushed through obstacles.
In 2017, after giving birth to my fourth child, I suffered a debilitating illness where the doctors said my immune system was attacking my body. A downhill health spiral affected my mobility, cognitive brain function, partial paralysis, and peripheral neuropathy. It was not a pretty sight, and I fought through the challenges to live and thrive again.
In 2019, a work mentor encouraged me to return to school. I definitely tabled this for the rest of my life after I got ill. I could not retain my memory or grasp things as quickly. There was no way I thought I would go back to school. But after some thought, encouragement, and support from myself and my husband, I thought, what the hell, let me take one class… What would it hurt?
That is how I restarted my journey back to college, and the rest is history. It started with one class each semester and every summer. I learned that my brain was adapting to new challenges by returning to school, and it needed to exercise itself back into shape. After two years of taking one class each semester, I could take two. Next, in 2022 I moved up to taking three classes a semester. Finally, in Spring 2023, I took four classes in one semester. This was a huge feat for me, mentally and spiritually.
During this process, when I first began college, it felt unattainable because I did not believe in myself. At first, I did not believe in myself because I felt like a failure for not graduating high school. Then I felt shame and embarrassment during my Community College phase because I could not pass Math. When my health took a toll in 2017, I told myself there was no chance I could overcome college math, much less take classes at a University.
My confidence grew enormously when I finally passed the Math college courses. After passing math, I thought the rest would be a breeze. The more obstacles I overcame, the more confident I began to feel. Take a lesson from my page, I felt many emotions like self-sabotage, imposter syndrome, illness, and mental health episodes that I want to be transparent about. This was difficult, but I want to share my testimony for people who need encouragement.
By the time I am writing this, my mindset and confidence have changed for the better. These experiences grew me, challenged me, and I had to rewire my thoughts to overcome these obstacles. I went through the phases of forgiving myself for marrying my emotions rather than working with them and through them by doing shadow work and reflection exercises to change my mindset.
My path was not traditional, and that is okay. We often are invested in other people’s narratives. Give yourself permission to let the narrative unfold, and do not compare your journey to others. Mindset is everything in this life, I began envisioning myself walking on the stage with the feeling of completion. It took some time, but in the end I ended up manifesting my goal by changing my thought and beliefs. I hope this story brings you what you need to move forward with the goals you have for yourself. Sometimes all we need is a nudge or synchronicity to know we are on the right path.
Photo Credit: https://www.vonvisphotography.com/home
